We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
