Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
