you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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