Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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