You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm just crazy horny about you
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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