she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
