Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize