I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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