i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
