you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
