If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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