hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i out mim tonsoeep
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