Is it normal to miss your booty call?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
