I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
