I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
