Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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