dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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