There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
