Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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