Your mouth is God's brothel.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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