So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
