Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
