Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
