Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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