Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
