a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
