I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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