Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
