At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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