I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize