508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
