Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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