Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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