I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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