i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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