Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
