What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
