Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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