legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
True strength comes from lack of pants
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
