tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
