3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
