i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
