Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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