where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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