Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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