I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize