You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
