Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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