yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
