Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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