and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
your like the ambassador to my penis.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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