this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
