she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
