If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you traded sex for a burrito?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
