Already got asked if we're dating
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
two words...techno handjob
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
