ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
