She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
