he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
