you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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