summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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