I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Congratulations! We have a period
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
