He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
