I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
